Just when I needed him...

Well... today, hmmm... It was what Jen and I like to call "meeting Monday" but it took the place of "Sarcastic Wednesday", which, let's be honest, nothing can REALLY take the place of sarcastic Wednesday, it's just too funny. My day started out with meeting after meeting and by the end of the meetings I was OVERWHELMED! Officially. And that doesn't happen to me very often in the work place. I felt like a complete idiot, and like I was going to fail at this new job I took and that maybe I made a mistake and that I was NOT all that my co-workers thought me to be. It was A LOT to take in. At 12:30 I go to lunch before another meeting at 1pm. I get to the cafeteria, kind of already in the beginnings of an emotional meltdown, and guess who I see? Of course... JESSE. And he says "HEY! How's it going to today?" and I have never been able to tell Jesse a half truth. I said "Well (cracky, cry-y voice) I'm officially overwhelmed." He just stared in my eyes, like that darn Bishop Goodman used to do cause he would say I can never hide anything from him, it's always in my eyes. And he was right like 95% of the time. Which TICKED ME OFF. I hurried and ended my conversation with Jesse and here came the water works. SO... I exit myself from the cafeteria to the bathroom, praying that no one I knew would approach/see me. I get in there, go in a stall and bawl my eyes out. Then I take some deep breaths, beat myself up for being such an emotional basketcase these days. Say an emergency prayer asking the Lord to please help me feel peace. If I can do this, help me to feel peace and pull it the freak together (I didn't say "freak"). And I may have begged him to just hold me in his arms today. And he did. Of course, cause he loves me, even when no one else does. And I left the bathroom and got some lunch (of which I just remembered is still sitting in my car- I didn't' even eat it all). Then I went to the 8th floor to see if someone was there so I could eat my lunch and talk to them. No one was there. Then I thought: Where am I going to go eat my lunch (I can't eat it on the 11th floor). I felt so alone. It was too cold outside. Jen was probably in a meeting. I had no where to go. So I went back in the cafeteria, where Jesse was eating with his son, so I hid so he wouldn't see me sitting all alone and ate some of my lunch. Then I went back to work. Then... as I started to work, I slowly but surely started to feel the warmth. And he was there. And I felt so much better. So... I can't really call today an "official" crap fest. Cause it wasn't. I had the comfort of the Lord with me. And that is like the opposite of a crap fest.He was there, just when I needed him. He's pretty much amazing like that.