WOAH!!!

Okay, so I have to share. I read this talk today on my lunch break and it was so amazing. Everyone should read it. It's called The Abrahamic Test. It is so good. I just wanted to share what I have learned. He talks about so many things, and I really did learn many things, but I don't have time or space to share them all, nor do you want to sit and listen to me go on and on. Some of you have endured my spiritual tangents and you know what I'm talking about. He talks about the things we are faced with and how we each have our own "Abrahamic test" in life. Well from reading this I think I know what mine is, and I have handled it poorly. I AM handling it poorly. See, like Hugh B. Brown said in the talk, Abraham was asked to sacrifice Isaac because Abraham needed to learn something about Abraham. WOAH!!! That's how our tests/trials are. I need to learn about Tahnee. Cause the thing is, when you do, you gain confidence. This is what connects us to the Lord, what makes us true disciples of Christ, and we have to be tested to gain that discipleship. We feel confidence spiritually and we end up on a whole different plane with the Lord. That is how we grow. See... I focus too much on the things in my life I want to "fix", I obsess over them, and I feel like if I just try harder, or just do things differently that I will "fix" it. But I have tried. I have tried my whole adult life and failed. Come close, but failed, and it is frustrating. I was just complaining to Nic about this last night. It's all I think about. I feel uncomfortable in my own skin sometimes. I have thought that I need to let the Lord help me. Or I need to let the Lord teach me how to "fix" myself. But I have failed to do so correctly. Well... that is what I learned from the talk today. I need to readjust my focus. My focus should not be on myself and how to improve myself so that I feel comfortable. That is so selfish, and vain. The Lord knows my trial. But I have failed to let him assist me with it. SO... I have failed, and I continue to fail, over and over again. Why in the crap do I care so much? I am sitting worrying so much about how I feel in the world, meanwhile my spirit is crying for help cause it is suffocating due to the over abundance of selfishness and vanity I am letting in my life. Here is a qoute from the talk:
"In time," Elder Neal A. Maxwell observed, "each person will receive a 'customized challenge' to determine his dedication to God."The Prophet Joseph Smith taught that before one can have his calling and election made sure he must be "thoroughly proved"; God must find "that the man is determined to serve Him at all hazards." "All hazards" may at times mean there will be no ram in the thicket, no angel to stop the knife, as there were with Abraham.

I also like this one: The Lord has on the earth some potential spiritual giants whom He saved for some six thousand years to help bear off the Kingdom triumphantly, and the devil is trying to put them to sleep. The devil knows that he probably won't be too successful in getting them to commit many great and malignant sins of commission. So he puts them into a deep sleep, like Gulliver, while he strands them with little sins of omission. And what good is a sleepy, neutralized, lukewarm giant as a leader?We have too many potential spiritual giants who should be more vigorously lifting their homes, the kingdom, and the country. We have many who feel they are good men, but they need to be good for something-stronger patriarchs, courageous missionaries, valiant genealogists and temple workers, dedicated patriots, devoted quorum members. In short, we must be shaken and awakened from a spiritual snooze.

Anyway... I want to be one of those "spiritual giants", I really do. SO.. I need to readjust my focus in life and focus more of my time on him and on others, and less on myself. I just wanted all those that I love to read this talk. It is so good. And worth the time to read it. You will not be disappointed. I got he talk from the Amazing "Uncle Jesse" at work. I told him today that he is my Spiritual Keeper. He laughed. He is though. He is always giving the right talk at the right time. It has happened over and over again. I just love him to death.