Mmmmm.... good!

So... yesterday Keili and Davey come running downstairs to tell Nic and I that they found a "thalomaner" which is how keili said it, but then Davey informed us it was a salamander. They were so excited. They found it in the window well. Well, Dave decided to BBQ some veggies, hamburgers and hotdogs. When he finished them he placed them on the plate. When I walked in with Nicole to eat, I looked at this plate and was like, "that looks like a salamander, Dave, you cooked the salamander" (knowing it was really eggplant). Davey was standing there and goes "What? DAD!!! UGH! Did you cook the salamander!?!?" Dave said yes, and told Davey that Salamanders are good. The look on his face was classic. He was so distraught. It was so funny. Davey then proceeded to get upset and I believe that tears started to well up so we told him that it wasn't the salamander. He didn't believe us at first. It took a while of convincing before he would fully believe that was not the salamander he found. Then at dinner, Nic and I couldn't even bring ourselves to eat the eggplant cause it really did look like a skinned salamander.

How do you spell PIG? I think it's D.A.V.E.

Um... okay, to preface this I have to tell you something about Dave. He does this funny, and "I was born in a barn"ish thing where when he gets just about done eating, he will pick his plate up , put it by mouth, using his utensil he then will proceed to scoop the remaining "meal" in it's entirety into his mouth. I think it's funny, and I tease about it when he does it.
Okay... so let me set the scene. Last night, I am sitting at the dinner table with Nic, Dave and the kids. Nicole made these yummy cream cheese beef pillow things and a salad for dinner. Dave eats the pillow things with his hands. He then puts some salad on his plate followed by A LOT of dressing. This is the part where he realizes that there are no utensils on the table. He says "Hey, where are the forks." Nicole and I laugh and I go "Um... why don't you just SCOOP it up and dump it in your mouth like you usually do. You don't need a fork." Nicole is laughing, and says "I'll get you one". Dave goes "No, NO! I don't need one. He then proceeds to mix his dressing with his salad using the utensils God gave him (see below)Okay, I am dying laughing at this point. Thinking... where's my phone, the WHOLE family and friends need to bask in the funny and ridiculousness that is Dave at this very moment. So... then I have my phone and he proceeds to eat his salad by CRAMMING it in his mouth, with his hands.

LOL! SO FUNNY. I'm sure you can imagine me laughing my head off! And then of course, Nic informs him that he just made my blog. And... what can I say... he did.

Intruder

It's Saturday night. Nic and Dave and family have gone camping all weekend. I finish watching "I want to marry Ryan Banks" cause the guy in it (not Ryan, the best friend) is so much fun to watch, I'm not gonna lie. I go to bed at midnight. It's 12:40ish. I hear a noise. I get up and open the door cause it was a beeping. Trust me, if it had been a "someone is moving" noise, I would have crammed myself under my bed that I probably wouldn't have fit under, I would have made myself fit. I open my bedroom door and the fire alarms are all going off. I run in the rooms looking for smoke/fire. I am constantly sniffing for smoke. I find nothing, so I run upstairs and do the same. Nothing. I run up to the 3rd level, and nothing. Then the alarms stop. 30 seconds go by, and they start again. Then... I get creeped out. Why are they going off? I start to wave my arms in front of them, and nothing. Then they stop. 30 seconds go by and they all go off again. Okay... imagine Tahnee and her overly imaginative "I'm afraid of the dark" mind. I was freaking out. I think, 'who do I call?' Someone is trying to scare and/or kill me. I call Dad, even though it's almost 1 am. I call Dad. I wake him up of course. He has me check all the outlets. I try the ones in my area first, nothing. I go upstairs, nothing. Then... I look up the up up stairs and the lights are all out. I didnt' want to go. I said "but... it's scary up there. It's dark. " Dad goes "well, turn on the lights." I'm pretty sure I wimpered and then went up there. Heavily breathing of course because I was expecting to find someone up ready to torture me. I checked everything and told Dad there was nothing. He then had me check the water heater and the furnace to see if anything was around them. There was nothing. I was interjecting his directions with completely ridiculous things like "Dad, what if there is a ghost in the house", "can someone set them off. Is there someone hiding in here?" Of course Dad goes "No Tahnee, there isn't a ghost in the house. And no one can set them off. Maybe there is a gas leak." he had me open the windows, but only the ones upstairs so that no one can climb up and get in to kill me. Cause I just knew that someone wanted to. He had me call Mindy and Rob to see if I could sleep there just in case there was a leak. Then he told me to call him right back. I call Mindy and tell her. She says to come over. And the thing is... regardless of the leak problem. THere is no way I could have slept there thinking someone ghost or human, or even Satan was waiting to kill me. I wouldn't have slept and I would have been whining to Heavenly Father all night to protect me. He probably inspired Dad to say that just so I wouldn't whine to him all night. Anyway. SO I call Dad back and tell him I'm leaving. He told me to go back and check the garage. I was like "WHAT?! You want me to open the garage door. By myself. But if someone is in there..." He told me to do it from the outside box. I was like "Uh... I can't, I can't." I walk out to the car and notice that the edges of the garage door are slightly lit. The light was on in there. "Oh my gosh, Dad (in a whisper) the light is on in the garage. Someone is in there. I turned that off myself." Dad starts to get worried so He tells me to get in my car, turn it on, and then use my garage opener to open the garage. I am in my car. Whimpering of course, like a 31 year old baby. I back out of the driveway, so that if someone is standing there I can scream and immediately drive away. I am on the road and I push the button on the garage door opener. NOTHIN! I push again, and again, and again. NOTHIN! I tell Dad. I have hit whining at this point. "what is going on here! This thing won't work." I drive away and I look back into the side window of the garage, and someone walks by. "OH MY GOSH. Dad... someone is in there. I just saw someone. Oh my gosh. Someone is there." Dad full throttles into worry. "Call 911. Right now! Call 911." "But Dad, I have to hang up with you first." "okay, hang up and call 911. Stay close enough to the house to see it though, but call them NOW." I call them. At this point the tears are coming. I tell the dispatch the problem. She sends out an officer. SHe made me stay on the phone with her until he got there. I was completely silent. I know, a miracle for me. She would periodically say "you okay?" And I'd say yes. Then be completely silent again. The officer shows up and she has me flash him with my brights. I do. Then he gets there and I hang up. He gets out, I get out. And he was so nice. He asks me what is going on. I tell him. He goes "Well, do you want me to go check it out?" WHAT THE... Well of course. I didnt' call you because I needed a freaking hug! GO MAN!!!! That's what I wanted to say, but instead I said "Well, yeah. I ain't going back in that place without you checking it out." He told me I could come or I could stay back. I had to unlock the door, so I went but told him I didnt' want to go back in until it was clear. So he goes in. Then I am standing on the porch at 2am and I think, "what the crap am i doing. It's dark, he is in the garage and I am outside. I am prey!" I start to chew my fingernails waiting for the officer to come back. He comes back after a good while and tells me that he didn't find anything. He said he checked every closet and room. I said "Well, did you check the garage?" He said yes. He said all there was was a cat in there. I was so pissed. I mean, I was glad no one was waiting to kill me, but what the heck! There was someone in there, I saw them! The officer was very nice. Even though I felt like a complete idiot! But I was sure, I saw someone in there. He told me to call right back even if I just hear a noise that seems questionable. He told me he left some lights on for me. He left. I went back in and was like "you left lights on for me. Screw this... I ain't stayin here tonight." So I called Dad and went to Mindy's. I still know that I saw someone in there. I don't know. Then Nic calls me last night from Mom and Dads and tells me that if the cat is in the garage he will turn the light on cause it's motion sensored. I hate that cat! Hate it! And to think... I actually fed that sucker this weekend. If there was someone in that garage, they forgot the cat.
Lesson learned: Tahnee can never live alone.

WOAH!!!

Okay, so I have to share. I read this talk today on my lunch break and it was so amazing. Everyone should read it. It's called The Abrahamic Test. It is so good. I just wanted to share what I have learned. He talks about so many things, and I really did learn many things, but I don't have time or space to share them all, nor do you want to sit and listen to me go on and on. Some of you have endured my spiritual tangents and you know what I'm talking about. He talks about the things we are faced with and how we each have our own "Abrahamic test" in life. Well from reading this I think I know what mine is, and I have handled it poorly. I AM handling it poorly. See, like Hugh B. Brown said in the talk, Abraham was asked to sacrifice Isaac because Abraham needed to learn something about Abraham. WOAH!!! That's how our tests/trials are. I need to learn about Tahnee. Cause the thing is, when you do, you gain confidence. This is what connects us to the Lord, what makes us true disciples of Christ, and we have to be tested to gain that discipleship. We feel confidence spiritually and we end up on a whole different plane with the Lord. That is how we grow. See... I focus too much on the things in my life I want to "fix", I obsess over them, and I feel like if I just try harder, or just do things differently that I will "fix" it. But I have tried. I have tried my whole adult life and failed. Come close, but failed, and it is frustrating. I was just complaining to Nic about this last night. It's all I think about. I feel uncomfortable in my own skin sometimes. I have thought that I need to let the Lord help me. Or I need to let the Lord teach me how to "fix" myself. But I have failed to do so correctly. Well... that is what I learned from the talk today. I need to readjust my focus. My focus should not be on myself and how to improve myself so that I feel comfortable. That is so selfish, and vain. The Lord knows my trial. But I have failed to let him assist me with it. SO... I have failed, and I continue to fail, over and over again. Why in the crap do I care so much? I am sitting worrying so much about how I feel in the world, meanwhile my spirit is crying for help cause it is suffocating due to the over abundance of selfishness and vanity I am letting in my life. Here is a qoute from the talk:
"In time," Elder Neal A. Maxwell observed, "each person will receive a 'customized challenge' to determine his dedication to God."The Prophet Joseph Smith taught that before one can have his calling and election made sure he must be "thoroughly proved"; God must find "that the man is determined to serve Him at all hazards." "All hazards" may at times mean there will be no ram in the thicket, no angel to stop the knife, as there were with Abraham.

I also like this one: The Lord has on the earth some potential spiritual giants whom He saved for some six thousand years to help bear off the Kingdom triumphantly, and the devil is trying to put them to sleep. The devil knows that he probably won't be too successful in getting them to commit many great and malignant sins of commission. So he puts them into a deep sleep, like Gulliver, while he strands them with little sins of omission. And what good is a sleepy, neutralized, lukewarm giant as a leader?We have too many potential spiritual giants who should be more vigorously lifting their homes, the kingdom, and the country. We have many who feel they are good men, but they need to be good for something-stronger patriarchs, courageous missionaries, valiant genealogists and temple workers, dedicated patriots, devoted quorum members. In short, we must be shaken and awakened from a spiritual snooze.

Anyway... I want to be one of those "spiritual giants", I really do. SO.. I need to readjust my focus in life and focus more of my time on him and on others, and less on myself. I just wanted all those that I love to read this talk. It is so good. And worth the time to read it. You will not be disappointed. I got he talk from the Amazing "Uncle Jesse" at work. I told him today that he is my Spiritual Keeper. He laughed. He is though. He is always giving the right talk at the right time. It has happened over and over again. I just love him to death.

Copying Aundrea

Here are the rules: Bold the things you’ve done and post on your blog!

Started your own blog
Slept under the stars
Played in a band
Visited Hawaii
Watched a meteor shower
Given more than you can afford to charity
Been to Disneyland
Climbed a mountain
Held a praying mantis
Sang a solo
Bungee jumped
Visited Paris
Watched a lightning storm at sea
Taught yourself an art from scratch
Adopted a child
Had food poisoning
Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
Grown your own vegetables
Seen the Mona Lisa in France
Slept on an overnight train
Had a pillow fight
Hitch hiked
Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
Built a snow fort
Held a lamb
Gone skinny dipping
Run a Marathon
Ridden in a gondola in Venice
Seen a total eclipse
Watched a sunrise or sunset
Hit a home run
Been on a cruise
Seen Niagara Falls in person
Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
Seen an Amish community
Taught yourself a new language
Had enough money to be truly satisfied
Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
Gone rock climbing
Seen Michelangelo’s David
Sung karaoke
Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
Visited Africa
Walked on a beach by moonlight
Been transported in an ambulance
Had your portrait painted
Gone deep sea fishing
Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
Kissed in the rain
Played in the mud
Gone to a drive-in theater
Been in a movie
Visited the Great Wall of China
Started a business
Taken a martial arts class
Visited Russia
Served at a soup kitchen
Sold Girl Scout Cookies
Gone whale watching
Got flowers for no reason
Donated blood, platelets or plasma
Gone sky diving
Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
Bounced a check
Flown in a helicopter
Saved a favorite childhood toy
Visited the Lincoln Memorial
Eaten Caviar
Pieced a quilt
Stood in Times Square
Toured the Everglades
Been fired from a job
Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
Broken a bone
Been a passenger on a motorcycle
Seen the Grand Canyon in person
Published a book
Visited the Redwoods
Bought a brand new car
Walked in Jerusalem
Had your picture in the newspaper
Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
Visited the White House
Killed and prepared an animal for eating
Had chickenpox
Saved someone’s life
Sat on a jury
Met someone famous
Joined a book club
Got a tattoo
Had a baby
Seen the Alamo in person
Swam in the Great Salt Lake
Been involved in a law suit
Owned a cell phone
Been stung by a bee

Now, go forth and prove your life is more exciting than mine...