Beautiful Day

As I was driving in to work today I decided to give my ipod a try. I haven't listened to it in months. I put on good o'l Lee Dewyze. Remember him? Remember how I used to start the morning with him singing "Beautiful Day" to me. Well... this morning, on my way in I thought... I can listen to Lee... I love Lee. I miss Lee. So I put on "Beautiful Day"and let me just tell you that I belted that song out. It got me a little choked up and it hit me. The saying that Sarah put on my sign she gave me at Christmas "In A World Where You Can Be Anything... BE YOURSELF!" I felt like myself, the myself I actually like, for the first time a long time. I made me think, and I pondered on this for a good portion of the way up. A LOT of good things have happened in my life the last month or so. I have become closer to the Savior and stronger in the gospel than I think I have ever been, and that is a great thing. I have wanted to be someone different, recently. I was willing to do anything to just be someone different. I still struggle with that, BUT... this morning when I let Lee sing me my song, it's like the light went off inside me. I think I just haven't been myself for so many months, for such a long time, because I lost sight of who that is and who I want to become, that when I put in that song... it took me back. It also made me think of D.C. because I listened to it in the morning when we were out there. It made me realize... I don't need to completely change who I am to be something/someone different, because there are things that I do like about myself. I just need to find myself again. Spiritually I have been doing that and I feel like I am building a firm foundation there- which I cannot and will not live without again.
I CHOSE... to be myself cause even though there are those out there that hate the person I am, there are those that see me for who I really am and not for the mistakes I make. It's like Moroni with Pehoran, Alma decides that Pehoran has become corrupt and only cares about himself and has become this awful person and he writes him a letter totally judging him and Pehoran, in a gentle way replies to his LONG accusation and basically says, if you really knew the situation you would not have censured me. I have learned so much from this story of Moroni and Pehoran because a lot of times this happens, I do it myself, but I have decided to try to stop doing this. I decided to try to implement the motto into my life that I can only hope others will implement into theirs when dealing with me, and that is this:

Be patient with me, the Lord is not finished with me yet.

Let's face it... everyone is human and no one understands everything and we are all on this our own individually journey full of mistakes and lessons and trials and triumphs and we need to just be patient with one another because God is not finished with any of us yet. If he were, we wouldn't be here anymore. It's hard to do this... I know, but it's worth a shot. I guess I just think that my one wish for this new year would be for people to look at me this way... and if that is what I expect, then I should do the same.

SOOOO... In a world where I can be anything, I chose to be myself. Cause some people like myself... I'm just sayin'. And... I chose to let Lee sing to me every morning again too.