A Typical Wal-Mart Experience

SO... let me tell you why I hate wal-mart. It's simple really. Tonight... I went, alone (because Sarah the amazing lives too far away but I know she would have come with me) to stand in line to get the New Moon DVD. I know... it's crazy, but I did it. So here's the thing. I was standing in line for an hour, at about 11 o'clock and this is what I witnessed:

Lady 1 in front of me: This lady is one of those people that wears jeans too tight around the waist and shirts that don't even come close to meeting the top of the pant line. She had a bad case of "the buldge". She had a new born baby who she was feeding (not nursing- thank heavens) and talked about how much she loves the twilight saga and all these details that only the really CRAZED fans would know and/or care about. She was talking about how she accidentally got pregnant when she grew up, SHE IS 21! Yeah... that's grown up. This girl never shut up, which was not the most annoying part. She named her daughter Isabella, and Lady 3 in front of me asked her if it was because of the movie, she OF COURSE said no, cause who really wants to admit that? Then she proceeds to tell lady 2 how she liked the name and told her Mom and her Mom was like "Oh, you had a grandma with that name" and now she says that's why she named her daughter Isabella. After her Grandma, who she didn't even know was named Isabella until she had already decided to name her baby that. And it had nothing to do with Isabella Swan. RIGHT! SHUT UP!

Lady 2 in front of me: This lady was sisters with Lady #3 in front of me. She had NO teeth and had the droopy face skin when her mouth was closed. She was in and out of line all the time bringing lady #3 stuff, just in case she wanted to purchase it. She was like a living breathing infomercial. At one point she begins to look at a book of New Moon pictures and is seriously DROOLING over Jacob...vocally. I was like... Um... there has to be an age limit to where that is totally unacceptable and borderline disgusting. I know there is because I seriously threw up in my mouth. RIGHT THEN! At one point Lady 1,2, and 3 start discussing tattoo's. Lady 2 pulls down her shirt to reveal to everyone a tattoo just above her breast. 2nd time I threw up in my mouth. She then proceeds to tell them how she got it high enough so that when her boobs start to sag, it wouldn't "go to far". 3rd time I threw up in my mouth. I was like... 'HONEY... I don't know what you classify as sagging, but they're already to your ankles'. When the line gets ready to move she begins to be frustrated and says to lady 3, "I can yell and tell them to start. I can be loud. OH SNAP!" LOL! She seriously said "OH SNAP!". She is like 70 or something. I chuckled at that, couldn't help myself.

Lady #3 in front of me: This lady is crazy 'no teeth, saggy boobs, "oh snap" lady's sister. She seemed somewhat normal. The most normal of all 4 of the ladies in front of me. She was planning to go home with her New Moon movie and watch it 2 times in a row with her husband. I have know idea why 2 times, but hey... more power to them. She started to talk to the other ladies which now includes a new lady, lady #4 about how her husband goes back east to participate in civil war reinactments. All I could picture was Sweet Home Alabama. Seriously.

Lady #4 in front of me: This girl was 19 years old, but looked older than me, I was shocked when she said she was 19 years old. She brought her 10 year old cousin with her who wanted to buy an item of clothing. Everytime she would bring something to lady 4, lady 4 would tell her how ridiculous it was. Here's the thing. I'm like 99% positive that lady 4 was trying to "fit in" with the old ladies here. She seemed like the kind of girl that probably didn't fit in much with her peers. She was not really dressed age appropriately, but more like the older ladies. It was really kind of annoying when she kept turning the 10 year old away cause a lot of the clothes were super cute. She'd go on about how ugly they were. I was like... that's the style right now. She was seriously like a 50 year old in a 19 year old body. When she would turn her away she'd say "Ugh... kids! If she was my kid, I'd beat her" I was like... WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU are still a kid. YOU ARE 19! I'm 32 and even I think the clothes are cute! The other ladies start to ask her questions about herself and they tell her to hold off having kids and get an education. She was like... "OH... I don't want kids. They freak me out!" AGAIN...19! She then starts to talk about she is going to Boston to participate in the Civil war reinactments this summer. When lady #3, whose husband does this as well, asked her questions, she didn't know the answers. Hmmm... It was getting so old watching her. I wanted to be like... UGH... BE YOUR STINKING SELF!!! NOT what you think others want you to be! When they brought around the cake... she asked for 2 pieces. I was like... you can have mine. It's midnight.

Man behind me: This man was like 60, there alone, and was so excited to get his packet of pictures and tattoos. It kind of creeped me out. I can't even get 1 man in my life to say he even remotely cares to watch the movie, let alone practically jump and down at the thought of a fake tattoo he can run home and apply on his arm. CREEPY! One ounce of drool, and I was OUT OF THERE!

Honestly... I was like... AM I SERIOUSLY the only normal NON-white trash person in this store right now? Cause i'm feeling a little out numbered. BUT... I got my DVD.