The Curator

Nestled in the heart of Cadston Alberta (I don't know if that's true, but it sounds like a good start) sits this temple. It's beautiful, right? Part of what makes this temple beautiful (besides the fact that my WONDERFUL friend Katie was married there) is the fact that it is a pioneer temple. The site was dedicated in 1913 and it was finished in 1923. In present day, there is a wonderful man that works here. He is the Engineer. He made a comment about a month ago to one of the designers that he was this temples "curator". How amazing is that insight. How special to have someone wathching out for, maintaining and taking care of such an amazingly beautiful place. It totally impressed me that he has such an attitude. He treats this temple as if it is a work of art, because it is.
This morning as I was riding in on the bus I kept thinking of this. I had an epiphany. I thought, what is a curator exactly. To me... it is someone who preserves, protects, maintains it's original form, ensures it is the way it was intended to be. So I looked up the definition and if you want it... here it is:

From Latin curator (“‘one who has care of a thing, a manager, guardian, trustee’”) < curare (“‘to take care of’”) < cura (“‘care, heed, attention, anxiety, grief’”).

Noun
Singular: curator
A person who manages, administers or organizes a collection

So... as I was sitting there, peering out the window of the bus I started to ponder this thought. So... if the temple has a curator, and if my body is a temple, then am I not the curator of my body? I am. Heavenly Father gave me this body in a perfect form, and this spirit came here with me, and it is MY job to take care of it, to be the gaurdian of it, I am the trustee, I should take heed, pay attention to what is happening, what it is being subject to, and feel anxiety and grief over the bad things I let in. It is my job to preserve myself, both body and spirit (my soul) and to get back, and then maintain "myself" the way I am intended (be who the Lord intends me to be). I am the curator of my soul. Me, and me alone. I am a work of art in the Lord's eyes. Do I see myself as a work of art? HECK NO! But should I? If I am the "curator" of my soul, should I not feel that way (of course in a humble way)? I should. I don't. But I should.

As I was sitting there thinking about this kind old man at the Cardston temple I thought about how he, to maintain the original beauty of that temple, went out (as the curator) and collected the original pieces of art and things that belonged in that temple, put there when it was first created. Those things have been restored. That is what I need to do. In a sense. I am so far from what the Lord intends for me to be, but all is not lost. The beauty of this is that just as the temple curator had, I too have resources to do this. I have the Lord and he will and already has given me the tools necessary to do this. And... just as in a temple, it is a life long endeavor to ensure that it is protected and preserved.

This applies to everything, I thought, the things I listen to, say, even the things I eat. EVERYTHING. It was like this amazing light went off inside of me this morning. It may sound cheesy to you, but... I am the curator of my soul. That is amazing. And I need to act as such.

Moey's Song at OneTrueMedia.com

She (Moey, aka- Miley) sings this song ALL THE TIME. It melts my heart. It is SOOOOO CUTE! Just like her! If you notice, she changes kindness to happiness at the end. Cute little stinker.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

A Warm Day

Today was a great day. It started out great. Today there was a cry in the morning, but trust me... it was a good cry. It was a "I got to feel the Saviors love for someone else" cry, and those are BY FAR the best cries. Then I find out that the wonderful, sweet girl that is training me isn't going to be here today. Although I really do like her and think she is wonderful and SUPER sweet, it was such a blessing for me (I like to think of it as an answer to yesterday's many prayers) that she wasn't here today. At first I was like, WHAT!!!, then I was like, OH YEAH!!!! Here's the thing... it was so good for me to be alone today in the job. I had confidence. I didn't feel like I was sharing my job or that I was a puppy dog. It was all me, and it was so good. I loved it. I felt the spirit so much in that today, and that is good. It is just what I needed, which is one of the many NUMEROUS reasons I love the Lord. He knows me so well. I had no idea how I was going to do this yesterday, but then today... it was opposite of yesterday. One cool thing I did today was talk to one of the Temple Matrons about some issues she is having and I worked all of them out. And she was grateful, and it was awesome. I think I'll love this job once I get the hang of it. And... a vendor brought us lunch from Cafe' Rio, which I was party sad cause I have trying to be so good about eating healthy and trying to learn to eat what makes me feel good, and I LOVE Cafe' Rio, SOOOOO MUCH, but part of me really was kind of sad. But I ate like a 1/3 of it and called it good, and I felt fine. So it worked out okay. And I was full. During lunch with the other girls, and Kevin the vendor displayed all the new fabric for us and I was in heaven. I seriously loved it. It might sound like a snooze fest to you guys but to me, cause I have a love for interior design, I was eating it up. It was fun. I just love the Lord. Today, I felt his love for me so many times. It was what I like to call a WARM day.

Just when I needed him...

Well... today, hmmm... It was what Jen and I like to call "meeting Monday" but it took the place of "Sarcastic Wednesday", which, let's be honest, nothing can REALLY take the place of sarcastic Wednesday, it's just too funny. My day started out with meeting after meeting and by the end of the meetings I was OVERWHELMED! Officially. And that doesn't happen to me very often in the work place. I felt like a complete idiot, and like I was going to fail at this new job I took and that maybe I made a mistake and that I was NOT all that my co-workers thought me to be. It was A LOT to take in. At 12:30 I go to lunch before another meeting at 1pm. I get to the cafeteria, kind of already in the beginnings of an emotional meltdown, and guess who I see? Of course... JESSE. And he says "HEY! How's it going to today?" and I have never been able to tell Jesse a half truth. I said "Well (cracky, cry-y voice) I'm officially overwhelmed." He just stared in my eyes, like that darn Bishop Goodman used to do cause he would say I can never hide anything from him, it's always in my eyes. And he was right like 95% of the time. Which TICKED ME OFF. I hurried and ended my conversation with Jesse and here came the water works. SO... I exit myself from the cafeteria to the bathroom, praying that no one I knew would approach/see me. I get in there, go in a stall and bawl my eyes out. Then I take some deep breaths, beat myself up for being such an emotional basketcase these days. Say an emergency prayer asking the Lord to please help me feel peace. If I can do this, help me to feel peace and pull it the freak together (I didn't say "freak"). And I may have begged him to just hold me in his arms today. And he did. Of course, cause he loves me, even when no one else does. And I left the bathroom and got some lunch (of which I just remembered is still sitting in my car- I didn't' even eat it all). Then I went to the 8th floor to see if someone was there so I could eat my lunch and talk to them. No one was there. Then I thought: Where am I going to go eat my lunch (I can't eat it on the 11th floor). I felt so alone. It was too cold outside. Jen was probably in a meeting. I had no where to go. So I went back in the cafeteria, where Jesse was eating with his son, so I hid so he wouldn't see me sitting all alone and ate some of my lunch. Then I went back to work. Then... as I started to work, I slowly but surely started to feel the warmth. And he was there. And I felt so much better. So... I can't really call today an "official" crap fest. Cause it wasn't. I had the comfort of the Lord with me. And that is like the opposite of a crap fest.He was there, just when I needed him. He's pretty much amazing like that.

Saturday Morning Date

So, yesterday was... well, lets just call it a crap fest and move on. Actually... I have to add a few things, I had a hard day at work, which concluded with me leaving in a hurry for which I ended up feeling bad all night because I left so quickly and Jesse was saying goodbye and thanking me for my work, but I was going to miss my bus, so I had no choice, but I still felt bad. I'm going to have to buy him a chocolate doughnut and a Dr.pepper (a combo he loves) to make up for it. Then I get to my bus stop, get off the bus and slam my elbow REALLY HARD on something on the stairs of the bus. It hit so hard that I couldn't hardly move my arm and I certainly couldn't carry anything. SOOO... pretty much I made it to my car, got in and sat there and cried, for like 10 minutes. I couldn't help it. After the day I had, the way I left work, and then the pain in my arm, I was a goner. It was pathetic. My arm hurt so bad (and it still does), it was just like the cherry on the frickin' top of my crap fest of a day! When I drove home I couldn't even hold the steering wheel with that hand it hurt so bad. Then I hurried downstairs so Nicole couldn't see my eyes all red, but I didn't really succeed, so then I cried some more. And she felt bad. So... I hibernated in my room, on my bed, but not for long. Keili comes down and sits on my bed by me and just chatted like she didn't even notice I was crying, which was good cause it made me stop crying. She even asked me about the Jazz. LOL! Before I went to bed I started to get a really bad sore throat and then it started to swell up. I could barely swallow, and it kind of scared me. I took some cough syrup and tried to sleep but it was tough.
I got up this morning and it still hurt, and still felt swollen back there, and decided I was going to do something fun. SOOOO... I took Miley on a date.
And this is what we did.

I took her to my favorite place to take the girls (aside from Jumpin' Jacks) and spoil them rotten!!! I needed to do something happy, so I took my little MO MO. Here we are leaving. It's too hard to take pictures while they are building. Sorry.
SHE HAD SO MUCH FUN. It started the day off GRRRRREAT! Plus, she has never even been to build a bear. BONUS!!!!
Meet Mya.
We decked her out. She has her dress hoodie on, a leash, and even a school backpack. Miley was in heaven. Oh.. and as you can see below, I also stopped and let her pick out some candy, she picked those dum dums.
Don't you just want to hug the crap out of her? Man I love me some MO MO. Anyway... it was a lot of fun. Plus.. let's be honest, I have been wanting to buy this build a bear puppy for like 2 months now. I just think it's so cute. Miley just happened to be a good excuse. A good ADORABLE FUN excuse.

Sad

Today is my last day at my current job. And I'm sad. And emotional. And it pretty much just sucks. I couldn't even sleep on the bus this morning because I couldn't stop thinking about it. And then I was thinking about all the people at work that I love that aren't going to be coming in today, and then I was sadder. But then I thought... 'Hello, my name is Tahnee, you kill my father, prepare to die." Okay... LOL... that's not what I thought but I couldn't resist typing it cause it. I thought "Hello my name is Tahnee and I AM SELFISH!" because these people have more important things to do. So it's okay. SO I got here and Jesse came in, so, I just blurted it out because I figure if I throw it out there, it will make me less emotional about it. I think it may have worked, but I think he may have thought "oh my gosh. HOW long do you have left here?" No, he just said , "Don't be sad. You're only moving up a few floors". Which I know, but it's different and SOMEONE (you know who you are) came to my desk last night to "say goodbye" and I think after that, it hit me. HARD. So I told Jesse this morning "I was okay until that dang __________ came up to my desk last night to say goodbye, like I was dying or leaving the country, or moving across the country." And of course Jesse just laughed. And of course I was like, "But I do appreciate it, and it made me feel good." Then I got the whole "everyone loves you" response, which isn't entirely true, but it helped. Anyway... the moral of this story is that sometimes, like today, I hate being an emotional GIRL!!! It's hard when you're just sad, because then it's like stupid satan has a hay day. It's like saying "hey satan... COME ON IN! Oh... and since you're here, why don't you make me a miserable basket case". And another thing, I would like to point out that right now, satan's name is underlined in red (you know... because the computer wants me to capalize his name) but I refuse to fix it because if the computer was as smart as me, he would know that it shouldn't be capitalized because satan sucks, and he isn't a person, so he doesn't even deserve his name to be capitalized. And I hate him. So there!

I should add that I am excited for the new job, and I know it's the right thing, I'm just a little scared to leave all these people that see the good in me to go to a floor with people who don't know me. I guess it's a good think the Lord knows more than me.

Top 10 Reasons Today is Special

Today is extra extra extra special, and I'm about to tell you why. See, today marks the day that someone wonderful, amazing, extraordinary, and completely quirky entered the world. I'll give you my top 10 reasons why I love the crap out of this person and I bet you can guess who it is... Okay... here goes:

10. She is the only person that has ever inspired me to want to shop on black Friday and was SUPER excited at like 3am, and I loved it (not necessarily Black Friday itself, but Black Friday with her I would totally do again).

9. She is going to go with me to D.C. to the holocaust museum, and I'm so excited. I have been trying to get someone to go on a vacation with me for a long time. It is going to be a BLAST!!!

8. She loves to people watch... and so do I.

7. She laughs at my jokes, even if they aren't funny.

6. She thinks I'm beautiful on the inside and out, and tell me so, even though I don't believe her, I somehow feel she really believes it.

5. She is amazingly spiritual and I connected with her that way from the start. She and I think a lot alike spiritually and get so excited about "the little things". I love to hear her speak in church.

4. She is super duper funny and I have stolen several funny "quotes" from her.

3. She is beautiful. Inside and Out.

2. My favorite person in the whole world is married to her and she is the light of his life and the best thing that ever happened to him. She pretty much stole my best friend- but I'd give him up to her any day! She fits our family like a glove.

And the #1 reason why I love the crap out of this person is.............

1. She saved my life, and continues to save me everyday. She totally understands me. She is an instrument in the Lord's hands in my life.

I bet you guessed... it's the AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL AND EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL SARAH!!!!!

Happy Birthday Sarah!!!!!!!!!!